Dirty Talk Basics
So you want to talk dirty, but don’t have a clue where to start?
Gutter bedroom talk is an art form in itself — but don’t worry, its not that hard to learn how to be good at it. Yes, there may be giggles, but a laugh is better than the alternative of silence and the subsequent hysterics you’ll trigger when she tells her girlfriends about it.
Even in our modern era, talking about what we want when it comes to sex is still difficult. Fantasy requests can be misconstrued as saying “you are not enough for me” when, in reality, they are a huge part of our sexuality — which, if we believe statistics, a whopping 80% of our sex lives takes place in our heads. So, talking dirty is part of fantasy sex play, and can be a headboard-busting turn-on for both partners.
testing the dirty waters
Communication is the key to good sex. We should all know this by now, but we still don’t practice it half as much as we should, if at all. The first step to introducing something new into lovemaking is to test the waters in casual conversation. Ask questions like: “Have you ever talked dirty in bed before?” or “If I talked filth into your ear while we made love, what would you do?” This gets the idea into her head, and rest assured that she’ll ponder it after you mention it, and possibly discuss it with her girlfriends to see what they do and if they like it.
It is possible, however, that she will flatly refuse to entertain the idea, in which case, it’s best to drop it. If she is uncomfortable with the idea, she is not likely to change her mind in a hurry and any attempts will probably be a turn off.
There are two aspects of successfully integrating dirty talk into your sex play. The first is the content; subject matter makes or breaks any dirty talk session. It’s supposed to turn her on, not make her cringe or burst out laughing. The second is the delivery: Your tone, volume, and the warm up are all important.
